Our Mayor Is a Cat

A cat won the mayoral election. The first campaign promise was mandatory naps. There was no second one yet. The swearing-in was set for two in the afternoon, which is when the mayor sleeps.

The ceremony started at two, exactly on schedule. The mayor was asleep on a cushion at the podium. The chief of staff took the microphone. "The mayor is, at this moment, personally enacting the first campaign promise." Applause. Nobody raised an objection.

Every morning at eleven the mayor sat in the third-floor window and looked in the same direction. The chief of staff went and checked. There was nothing over there. An old warehouse roof. He wrote it in the log anyway. 11:00 — municipal inspection.

There were three grounds: unexcused absence, destruction of public documents, and one ruined necktie. The mayor attended the hearing. Attended, and slept. The council said nothing for two hours. Waking her would have felt like losing.